It’s been a complex month.

If you read my last blog, you remember me mentioning that I was going to give my body a break. So I did (while on a trip to Europe).

The two major findings from giving my body almost 3 weeks off were:

1) My body started hurting MORE.

2) I lost something I treasured most: trust. I stopped trusting my body… and felt scared to train.

Let me explain better these findings.

I believe sometimes a “hard stop” or “reset” could be beneficial, but I usually think of it this way: that one time a year I get sick, I use it to take a reset as well (I don’t train when sick, even if it’s just a cold).

After about a week, I start hurting from not training: my back feels stiff, craving its backbends (the body gets used to whatever it’s repeatedly exposed to), my neck and shoulders lock up, my muscles feel restless. The body becomes a cage more than something that I can navigate freely.

So given I had PRP done on my hip (as well as a “topper” on my shoulder, you can read more on my shoulder saga here), I took the trip as a test to experience longer rest and minimal training (only rehab and light leg training).

Well… my body did not like that lol. I can’t tell if it felt worse because of all the plane sitting, long walking (I mostly drive in Miami) or whatnot, but my body was furious. My left low back started bothering me too, probably compensating from the hip. I tried to listen to my body… and it said fuck off. I was irritable and had a couple meltdowns while in Italy.

The moment I got back though and had time to: return to routine, adjust to my usual timezone, sleep in my bed, reintroducing the usual training days (with moderate intensity), I started feeling sane again, like myself – I did not feel like myself! I was coming back, a day at a time.

So from this experience I learned that yes, sometimes it’s inevitable and needed to slow down, but the body craves consistency, more than intensity. I learned also that we identify with what we DO (not with what we say). That loss of identity was real, away from my practice.

Now to the trust.

Trust is huge in training. It’s the result of having overcome fear and developed confidence and belief in the self. I know that loss is only temporary, but it’s strange to me, like something so known all of a sudden is less familiar. The beauty lies in the “coming back”, coming back to the body is coming back home.

I did feel scared to train the past week – but I took it as a time to be just more vigilant. “I don’t want to train scared” was the reminder that kept coming up.

Being at the gym with my mat, starting my warm ups again, I felt so happy doing something so mundane. That’s why I’m so dedicated to longevity, it’s like learning how to make a love story last. I know there is a way, and it’s found a day at a time, with intention and patience.

That’s all for now.

P.S.

I want to let you know that in order to keep this blog as authentic as possible, I’m not using AI in any way to help. This is my online diary, with my mistakes and at times complicated thoughts… I’m planning to keep it this way.