Every Sunday, my phone likes to show me a weekly report of my screen time. I usually disregard it, because part of me is afraid to find out how much time I spend on the thing daily. The other day I decided to check it out.

With horror, I found out I average 6 hrs a day on my phone (some days even more). How could it be possible? That’s almost half of my day.

I quickly tried to excuse my behavior: “I work on my phone”, “I need to answer to my mom promptly or she worries”, “It’s the time we live in”, “I listen to music”, “I meditate”. STILL, the idea of this device being such a big part of my daily life pissed me off. The phone and all its apps are intended to make life easier, yet I feel my life has been increasingly more chaotic and complicated instead.

I had to do something. Something to remove the apparent comfort the phone created in my routine and build some new habits around it, even if that meant making my life “less easy”.

WHAT I’M DOING TO REGAIN SOME SANITY AROUND MY PHONE USAGE

I deleted certain apps, like Amazon and Youtube.

I already wasn’t about “same day delivery” life. I found the need to have something not important delivered IMMEDIATELY, simply silly. Not having Amazon Prime still didn’t stop me from being a compulsive online shopper, so I decided if I really needed something – well, I’d order it from the laptop. Same with Youtube, it has become another distraction I’d hop on too often and now it’s on laptop only.

Work is done primarily on my laptop and not on my phone.

I made the decision to create a clear boundary between when it’s work time and not work time. I need this distinction to focus: when working on my phone I still have access to a ton of apps for distraction, and it doesn’t feel the same when I’m on the laptop.

I meditate without my phone or journal instead.

This could change as I enjoy having a timer and background music, but more often than not, grabbing my phone to start meditating can cause me to check notifications and get sidetracked. I like meditating in my bed as soon as I get up, so now I wake up and start, without sound (I’m used to 30 min meditation so I can approximate the time) or pick up my journal.

I embrace boredom more.

I realized there are certain moments during the day that I feel the urge to pick up my phone because of boredom or after something challenging I did, like driving on I – 95 traffic in South Florida during peak hours (insert scream here). I find some sort of “relief” by checking my phone, but truthfully it’s just a moment you search for some cheap dopamine or “rest your brain” for 5, 10, or 50 min… and it doesn’t feel that great, especially if you happen to feel down and are exposed to people’s “best moments” on socials (or the lies that happen to be on there). Why do we keep on doing things that don’t feel good?

So for example yesterday I had quite a long drive, and after stopping at a light I wanted to look at my phone. Instead I rolled down my window and stared at the intersection, smelled the air, looked at a palm moving in the wind…Then the green light came on. It was easy to do something else and I learned I can survive a tiny moment of boredom without my phone.

WHY AM I DOING ALL THIS?

I want a life that feels more present and slower, more intentional and connected. I realized most of the times I want to feel connected I reach for my phone, and the result is an ever deeper need for connection. I feel if I can soothe myself first with connecting to life moment to moment, my anxiety and fear of being alone actually decrease. So in this seemingly paradox I find deeper peace, in allowing an initial feeling of “missing out” I discover the joy of it, of being in my reality, in living life on my terms and not feeling forced to keep up with whatever society throws at us.

If I choose real connection, I can call a friend or make plans to meet. So much gets watered down through mere texting, I feel messages are misinterpreted, we make up stories about others based on our moods… meeting in person is where is at and detaching from our phone motivates us to create more of the face to face experiences we crave.

I’ll still stay updated about the world and use my phone, I don’t think I could go about life without driving directions or Spotify at the gym, or looking something up on the spot, or capturing moments that are worth to keep, because there are undoubtedly many great sides to having such powerful devices in our hands. But since I started to feel this deep discomfort within related to social media the past year, I realized that shit, this is an even bigger issue, it’s not just social media but my whole phone usage, that leaves me feeling often distracted, rushed, zoned out, stressed, not even knowing why. We aren’t build for this amount of stimulus and information thrown at us, day in and out.

I wish you find the approach to technology that fits you best, maybe you don’t see any problem with it, maybe you’re even excited by how far technology has come and I get it, it’s pretty incredible. As long as it makes your life better and you’re agreeing on that!

I don’t think an easier life is necessarily a better life (this is a topic for another post).

(Fun fact: I draw this picture this morning, as I was waiting for a student. With more time offline, my drawings have room to come back to life).