I’ve held on strong for almost three weeks. Today I’m feeling the first cracks.

If you read this post, you know I’m recovering some old injury and frankly I felt proud about how well I managed to stay away from contortion training till now. What made it possible has been the fact that I’m following a rehab protocol, so I’m not just sitting around with no plan (that would make me lose it).

I’ve maintained a positive attitude, with absolute certainty of reaching full recovery (it never crossed my mind anything other than that) and I feel fully committed body and mind to follow the healing process right.

As I’m gulping down some M&Ms, I realize how it doesn’t help to be 3 days from my period and feeling the effect of my fluctuating hormones, making a fool out of me. I’m tired, I want to bend my body deep and I can’t, plus any type of noise irritates me, to the point I had to wear earplugs while vacuuming earlier (so dramatic lol).

Without contortion training I feel like a superhero missing its costume. I know I’m still a superhero, but I’m waiting for my new suit to go on and save the world.

It’s been not even three weeks since I got Stem Cells and PRP injections and it feel like it’s been a lot longer than that. Not much has happened or changed. I started doing physical therapy on my shoulder last week and resumed leg weight training and some flexibility, but contortion will be off limits for longer, because it’s almost impossible not to use your shoulders and I just can’t mess up the investment of money and time I made for healing. This is a great experiment after all that I believe will add to my knowledge about training and recovery, so I’m excited about documenting it as well.

I was told by my physical therapist to do a cycle of BPC 157 peptide for its remarkable (yet still not widely tested on humans) healing properties. I’ve only heard of peptides years ago and it sounded like some weird pseudo science, but as soon as I looked it up online there was a lot to read about and apparently this peptide was one of the most promising. So I searched where to buy it, found a website and got it, thinking there was no reason to doubt the site’s legitimacy. Once I got it delivered…

I opened the white carton box, to find, to my surprise, a bunch of needles, alcohol pads, a bottle of bacteriostatic water and a vial of BPC 157. NO INSTRUCTIONS. I panicked. What was I supposed to do with this shit?

So I called my PT and got more info on the matter. Basically, because peptides aren’t regulated by the FDA, they’re sold by labs or companies FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY, meaning they take no responsibility whether you use it for “research” or you shoot it up your arm. In other words, it’s the Wild Wild West out there and you need to know someone with experience to understand mixing and dosing. Thankfully he gave me enough instructions on how to go about it and 30 minutes later I was self injecting myself for the first time (the things you do to heal).

By the third day this was pretty much routine, even though there is always a moment of light anxiety when you’re about to poke your skin with the tiny needle.

I ended up reading more on the matter and turns out that the legitimacy of the site you buy from does matter, so my next vial came from another company that have proof or third party testing, updated lab reports and a good online reputation.

I’m still finishing my first vial and I can’t say if this is working or not yet (plus who knows if the first vial was legit). Anyway I got 3 months to find out (that’s the duration of the cycle I’m doing).

It gets harder till it gets better. I’m having one of those days where I gotta be patient with myself. It’s hard to be away from something you love so dearly. It’s even harder when you’re sort of hysterical on top of it thanks to hormones. But it always gets better and I’m excited for when that happens.

More to come.