I’ve been thinking about writing during this time, because another situation as such it won’t repeat in my life (I hope). Every 10, 100 years history taught us crisis happen, a cathartic way to force changes, sadly involving deaths, to raise awareness, reevaluate each and everyone’s life priorities, needs and essentially the way we think and live. I spent every day so far trying hard to stay busy during the ‘quarantine’ ( a term I never used before that has became very familiar at this point) and make the best out of it (keeping healthy, training, teaching, dealing with fears, worries about my family in Italy and overall a feeling of sadness for the world being on hold, people losing dear ones and jobs). But today, after…I lost count how many days, I wanted to sit still. I kept moving and doing and scrolling and cleaning and going and going…it’s been stressful.

Everything started to change a month ago, it was around the second week of March. Watching the news, Coronavirus cases piling up in my home country, I remember the day I got scared: I took my mom to the airport after she luckily made it to visit me for a week, and when I saw her walking away wearing a mask and gloves after a quick hug, I froze. I felt tears coming down my eyes, I felt so impotent and scared. She was taking a long flight back to Italy while I was staying here in the US, not knowing if I could have flown there if I wanted to.

The following week was a mess. Every day something would change, news getting worse, people’s stress and uncertainty was tangible in the air. Cars were spinning nervously in the streets and places were starting to close, flights cancelled, supermarkets being robbed of toilet papers and disinfecting wipes. We were unprepared, the world was unprepared. The day my gym closed, it was a hard hit. I have to explain you what “the gym” means to me, beside a place I spend many hours a week to work out. The gym is a social space, a big point of reference in my daily routine, maybe like a safe port. It’s like a club, you end up interacting with friends and people, you’re part of it. You’re ‘alone’ working out but surrounded by others working on themselves just like you. It’s a place of connection and community, important for us living in America, the country of individuality and loneliness. When a big corporate gym like mine that doesn’t even close for Christmas shut down, I knew ‘shit was getting real’.

I train flexibility of the body, but also of the mind. In the present circumstances I had to adapt to a new reality which was changing at a fast pace. I was ready though, and after the initial panicking days…things slowly started to settle. I created a different routine (routines give security), I kept my training (started running outside to get out of the house, working out in parking lots with a couple kettlebells and bands, doing my contortion diligently at home) and I knew that was a huge factor in maintaining my life in order, because training has always done that to me: it strengthens my sense of identity. Nevertheless, it feeds my brain with chemicals that are vital to keep a positive outlook given the situation. So I went to town!

Here are some shots taken from my runs. I’ve never seen Miami like this, in all its ecstatic beauty, nature raging wild, for once taking advantage of the absence of human life. It felt like it was saying, “ah! Now you know what it feels to be sick as a whole, I’ve been sick for long and you did not stop to heal me. Now you have to. Let me flourish”.

The other realization I had was… That I need to calm down with the physical activities and be able to sit still. So today I did just that. I went grocery shopping and took care of my plants (I have a big plant collection now). I reminded myself that the body can’t be the only responsible for my mental health, it does need rest, especially now. Funny how I’ve posted about this several times before, but it is a recurrent issue because I love moving and training so much.

This will pass too. Definitely made me also aware of how people I know deal with a situation of gravity and how I got closer to some and further from others…better make this quarantine be worth the detachment from things and people that does not belong to our life’s path.

Stay healthy, with love

S.